the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize