quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
