i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i've created a new STD.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
