There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
