if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
