Joe is yelling at the trees again.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
