I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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