where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
