and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
