drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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