my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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