Me too!
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
