I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Semen is not good for contacts.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
