Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
