Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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