If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
