Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
