Don't make out with my wife yet
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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