Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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