i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
