I wish i was in the wii world.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I did not marry a roomba.
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