We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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