90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
