so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
