so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
