I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize