Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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