i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
