wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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