So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
