Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
