This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
