Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Randomize
