Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
