Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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