Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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