if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
