Bisexual people are plain selfish.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
