Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You've changed since you got that strap on
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
