Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
