my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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