oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
