Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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