the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
