talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
