I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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