Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
whose ass print is on the piano?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
