Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
