Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
