You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
