i just wanna soil my oats bro
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
