So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
