how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
