These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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