Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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