Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
even my farts smell like vagina
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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