Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
