the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
