you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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