So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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