woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
now i know why i became what i already was.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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