i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
