Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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