So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You're like the curious george of whores
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
